…so that wraps things up for tonight.
Serenity, will you please close
our meeting with The Lord’s Prayer?

Sure thing, Mr. C!
(Ahem)
Our Father in Heaven, holy is your name.
Your kingdom come and your will be done
here on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us what we need for today,
and punish us the way we punish others.
Lead us away from temptation,
and save us from evil,
for yours is the kingdom
and the power
and the glory forever.
Amen.

Amen.  Uh, Serenity, I don’t mean to sound critical, but it’s
“forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us”,
not “punish us the way we punish others”.

Po-TAY-to
Po-TAH-to

I’ve been interviewed not once but twice in recent weeks.

Melchizedek Todd interviewed me on his Prolifick Radio show, The God Scene With Mel And Nicole.  My interview starts at the 24:43 mark on the Februay 21, 2012 show.  Topics include Serenity, Savage Angels, and other upcoming stories plus the Christian Comic Arts Society (CCAS).

And speaking of the CCAS, be sure to read Sara Napier’s in-depth article on the organization in New Identity magazine #14, available online.  She does a great job covering the history and purpose of the organization.

Why did Parker yank you out of math?

Hadta piddle in a jar.

What?!  Again?!?!?

Again.

So…how did you do?

I ain’t in the back of a patrol car, am I?

That’s good.  How often do you have to do this?

Whenever Parker is in a pissy mood, I guess.

I’d think it would be better if you were in a pissy mood.

Har-dee-har-har.

But you’re okay, right?

I’m clean, but not everybody I know is.

What difference does that make?
Just steer clear of the dopers.

Hard to do when you share a roof with ‘em.

Ooooh…gotcha.

Some of these drug tests are so sensitive they can
register a false positive even if you just ride in a car
where somebody smoked a joint earlier.

Yikes!

Tell me about it.  I’m busting my buns to stay clean & sober,
I don’t need to get busted ‘cuz the penguin hasta chill after work.

“The penguin”?

Skip it.

Okay.  Hey, can I ask you something personal?

Ax away.

That’s why you’re flunking English.

“?”

Skip it.  My question is why did you start smoking dope in the first place?

Oh, that’s easy:  ‘Cuz it feels sooooo fracking goooood.

“Fracking”?

Heard it on TV.  I like dropping it ‘cuz adults can’t say boo
when ya do ‘cuz the it’s a technical term, sumthin’ to do
with mining or oil or gas or sumthin’.

Okay.  But just ‘cuz it feels good?

Yeah.  Well…more like it numbs the pain.
Know what’s crazy?  Sometimes I’d hurt so much
I’d do anything to not feel it:  X, grass, booze, guys.
Then other times I’d feel so numb I was afraid
I’d never feel anything ever again.
That was scary.

Too much dope, huh?

No, I’d feel numb even when I was straight, like…
…like I wasn’t even really there, y’know?
I’d just be kinda watching myself do stuff,
not really knowing why I did it.

Well, no offense, but you still do stuff that nobody knows why.

Yeah, but that’s just me being stupid.
Nowadays at least I feel like I’m
at home in my head.

So the 12-step thing is working out for you?

Yeah.  Color me surprised.

Sure it isn’t the Derek factor?

“…”

Serenity…?

It’s kinda hard to say.
Seriously:  I’m not ‘spose to talk about
the meetings outside of the meetings.

Somebody took great pains to explain that to me.

Derek, huh?

Ain’t saying.  But I can say this:
The meetings are to help us get clean and stay sober,
not into each other’s pants.

…not that I would object if that happened.

Somebody else might object.

She can unlax:  Ain’t gonna happen.
Derek’s pretty emphatic on that.

“Unlax”?

Look it up.

I just did.  It’s not on Wikipedia.

Gimme fifteen minutes and it will be.

Hi, Mr. D!

Hi, girls.

Whatcha doing?

Getting ready for your next big story.

Finally!

I appreciate your patience.

To heck with that — what have you got planned for us?

Adventure? 
Excitement? 
Romance?

Sally!  You’re too young!

Says who?  I’m in high school!

Yeah, a freshman.

Maybe I wanna grow up.

You’ll all get a chance to grow.

Hey, Mr. D, can I ax you a question?

Chop away.

“?”

Ask away, Serenity.

How come you only put dialog here?

Yeah, why don’t you tell people where we are
or what we’re wearing or what we’re doing?

I would — and I will — if it was germane to the story.

“?”

He means “important to the story.”

Oh, well why didn’t ya say that?

Won’t people get confused?

I don’t see why, Sally.
It’s like listening to audiobooks or podcasts:
Our readers can fill in all their own details.
I’m more interested in what you guys say and
feel than where you might be standing
at any particular moment.

For instance, it doesn’t matter where
this conversation is taking place.
We could be at your church or the lobby of
a movie theater or on a bus traveling to Memphis,
none of that affects this particular dialog.
Let the readers imagine you where they want.

…..

So they could be imagining us hopping up
and down on pogo sticks in our underwear.

Shut up!  We are not! 
We are standing in front of the school,
there are dozens of students all around us! 
It’s a chilly morning; we are all wearing boots,
jeans or leggings, and long wool coats!

…..

No, it’s not; and no, we aren’t.

SHUT UP!